You'll Be The Death Of Me!
by Sophie4960
Summary: Ali is alive. A is not involved. Emily's head over heels for Alison. But off course she wouldn't tell her that. Neither will Alison. Not even admit it. AU HOPEFULLY! I will try to update everyday, but depends on the REVIEWS!
1. Don't Keep Me Waiting Ladies!

Emily POV:

"This sleepover is going to be the best, I promise you guys." Said Alison, showing off her signature smirk. I knew that smirk. I knew it pretty well. The one that would always awaken butterflies in my stomach. The one that always makes me nervous. The one who makes my heart beat so fast that I'd fear she could hear it. Why her? Why my friend? My best friend. My best friend whom I'd do anything for her in a heart beat. It may sound crazy and cliché, but it was true, so true. I'd never tell her that though. How one smile could make my day. Though a lingering significant smile from her towards me would make me smile goofily, that I'd know, I look completely stupid. Yes, stupid. Not only I know I look stupid on most occasions, but I feel stupid. Stupid because of how my feelings had got in the way of things. But it was too late now.

"Emily!" I jumped. _Shit_. I must have zoned out again. I've been doing that allot recently. This seemed to annoy Ali allot.

"Sorry Ali. What were you saying?" I ask nervously, containing my complete attention on her now while rubbing the back of my neck. Ali was slightly smiling though, to my surprise. I would have expected an intimidating frown, but I surprisingly didn't get one. This confused me. Yes, Alison DiLaurentis was awfully confusing. One second she'd be all happy and bubbly, not a care in the world. But the next second she'd be the cruel, bitchy Alison that everyone knew. Everyone only knew one side to Alison. The side that always makes everyone instantly back away and keep their mouths seeled, afraid of what she's actually capable of. Surely Alison had the looks. She was beautiful. Stunning. Gorgeous. Rich. Erotic. Boys wanted to date her, girls wanted to be her, simply as that. But Alison was more than just a pretty little girl. Alison was every girls' dream, to wake up in the morning and look just like her and every guys' disturbing fantasy... _now lets not get into details with_ _that._

Ali rolled her eyes and answered, "I was saying we're going to be having the sleepover at Spencer's."

Spencer shook her head, "Sorry Ali, we can't. Melisa said that she'd be expecting Ian tonight."

Ali shrugged, "Then we'll take the barn. Even better." She smirked.

We all smiled at each other, giggling as silence took us over. Melisa was living in the barn for now, "Probably forever," Spence had said, when she'd found out the barn _she'd _designed, was going to be a place where her and Ian would be living. Ian was Melisa's creepy fiancé. When I say creepy, I mean _creepy. _I strangely get this weird vibe from him. Normally it's his smile that creeps me out more. Its not a smile though, but a menacing grin. Maybe it's just my paranoia, but I can't help the chills I get thinking of him as goosebumps rise from my olive skin.

Alison started picking up her bag, "I got to go guys. I have a prior engagement. But let's meet up at 8."

Hanna smiled, her dimples appearing visibly. "Sure. I'll bring the junks and the alcohol. Mom won't realize."

Ali snickered, "Make sure to leave some for us, Hanna. We don't want you gaining another 10 grams now, do we?" Hanna's smile vanished instantly and she ducked her head, fiddling with her hands. My smile fell too, as I realized Ali's comment had hurt Hanna. Everyone was quite, daring not to say a thing. This is what I didn't particularly like about Alison. She says things without even thinking. Perhaps she does think, but never particularly cares enough. Hanna isn't the only one who gets the offending remarks from Ali, we all do. We just hope that one day she'd realize how much she hurts us all at times, without her really realizing that. But offcourse we wouldn't tell her that. We'd wait until she'd come to that conclusion.

"Relax, Han. I was just messing around." Alison giggled, getting up to leave. "I'll see you guys later." She smirked at all of us, as she slung her Gucci bag onto her shoulder. She looked down at me and it was like time had stoped. It was like there was no one else in the room but just her and I. Her gaze lingered down at me. If it weren't for me but someone else, they would have perhaps thought the moment was unusual? Strange? Odd? But for me, it was... magical? _God Emily, get your shit together. She's just looking at you, nothing special about that_. But I still couldn't help but think how thrilling that moment was. How it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. How it made me swallow hard. How it made me look down and how I had to fiddle with my hands to calm my breathing and the beating of my heart. _God I had it bad._

Alison turned back, her smirk still plastered across her face, "Oh, and don't keep me waiting ladies!" She said huskily one last time, as she left Aria's room leaving us four behind, unresponsive. Hanna's head still bowed down, Spencer had a pokerface, Aria had an impassive expression and I was still trying to calm my breathing and my heartbeat. We all heard her giggle as there was a dull silence in the room. _Oh her giggle... _


	2. Em, You Have It Bad

**Hope you all are enjoying this! :) Tell me what you think 3**

Emily POV:

"God, why does she have to be such a bitch all the time?" I look up and realized Hanna was upset. In fact she was more than just upset. Her face was flustered and I could tell she was trying hard not to let the tears flow out. I know how Hanna's feeling right now. Hurt, damaged, angry, irritated, furious, just so many emotions you want to shut out, but can't. These emotions are just too powerful to ignore. I've felt like that before, so many times that I've lost count. But I've also lost count on how many occasions Ali has made me smile. How many times she has left me buzzing with happiness and joy. How many times Ali has made us all laugh, like there was no tomorrow. Ali would wash all the worry, tension and awkwardness in just one comment and leave us all giggling like 5 year olds. Everything wouldn't be the same without Alison. Nothing would. It would always feel like something's missing if she weren't here with us. Like right now. Without Ali, it's... I don't know, not complete? Like a heart with a missing piece. A large, missing piece. Like a soul, without a beating heart. Like love that's not returned. That will never be, returned. Like, forbidden love...

"I don't know Hanna," Aria answered, her bewildering eyes looking at us all, as she ran her hands through her dark hair.

"Yeah, well, all we know is that there's no point in asking that, Hanna. Ali's a whore. Everyone knows that. End of story." Spencer said grimacing, her brown orbs burning into Hanna's with sympathy. Hanna looked up and gazed into Spencer's eyes, her eyes showing some kind of emotion that I couldn't put my finger to it. I don't know if it was just my mind doing tricks on me, or did Spencer and Hanna's gaze lasted longer than it should have.

Hanna lets out a low chuckle and looks down at her lap, as Spencer does too. I then become aware of the crimson blush on Hanna's cheeks, letting her hair fall over and burying her face. I look over at Aria and notice that she seemed to not have realised their...moment?

Spencer looks up, locking eyes with me, "I'm astonished you seemed to not have defended her this time, Em." Spencer smirks irreverently.

I shake my head slightly, "What do you mean?" I ask, frowning.

Spencer rolls her eyes a bit, "Well you know, since I called Ali a _whore_." Spencer's seductive smirk still hadn't wiped off her face.

"You are her _Killer_, remember? Her _Pitbull_..." Spencer, Aria and even Hanna started giggling as I joined in rolling my eyes at Spencer's statement.

"Well I guess I just got a little distracted. But, if I was paying a little more attention, then I would've defended her like always, Spence." I chuckled again.

Spencer scrunched up her face in confusion, "Why do you protect her so much, Em? It's not like your compassion is going to change the kind of being she is. It's in her blood!"

While Spence was talking, I was mainly fascinated in the way her thin eyebrows kept raising up whenever she made a point. It was strangely amusing.

I slightly chuckled, "Spence, Ali may not be the nicest being on earth, bu-"

"Wait, _may?_ Em, you're joking right?"

I sighed, irritated and continued what I was saying, ignoring Spence's interruption. "Ali _may _not be the nicest being on earth, but she'salso one of the nicest being I have met and I know I'm not the only one who believes that. We wouldn't be here, together, happy or upset, if it weren't for Alison. She may be a bitch, I have to admit," I swallowed. I had never cursed about Ali out loud before, so I wasn't surprised the stunned looks I noticed on Hanna's, Aria's and slightly on Spencer's face.

"But we all know there is a completely different side to her that we've seen on many occasions."

I then slightly smile to myself, continuing, "She tries to hide it, tries to show that she's not weak and vulnerable like every other human being. But at times you can just see it right through her," I look up, trying to make a point, "You just got to look closely."

Silence took over the room for a minute or so, till Spencer broke the silence. _Not surprised..._

"Wow Em, you got it _bad!_" Spencer chuckles, as so do the other girls.

I frown and slightly pout, as this makes the certain blonde laugh even more. "What do you mean, _'You got it bad?_" I say, still pouting.

"Oh come on Em! You're like _totally_ in love with her!" Aria yells, laughing even more as a blush creeps up to my cheeks and neck, making me look crimson red. _Great._

"Oh and look, she's blushing!" Hanna joins in, making Spencer join into the laughter as well. I stared at them all, their hilarious faces was just so amusing. Too amusing. In fact, entertaining. _If only I could tape this..._ I chuckle at the thought of it.

"I bet you _LOVE_ it when Ali calls you her Killer!" Spencer winks as she starts smirking.

I smirk, deciding to play along. "You're right Spence, I do love it." I smirk, winking back.

Everyone had finally settled down from their hysterics, especially Aria and Hanna. Boi they can laugh.

"So Em, do you, love Ali?" Aria asked confusedly with slight suspicion on her tone. I rubbed the back of my neck as I broke eye contact. "I mean, it's clearly obvious." Aria continued.

I wasn't ready to talk about this. Not yet. Perhaps never. I know they were my friends, my best friends. Best friends that I can trust anything with, tell them anything and would know they'd still love and accept me. But it felt right to not admit it to somebody else. Saying it out loud would hurt too much. It would feel too real. Too raw. The pain in my chest would be unbearable because, I knew she would never feel the same way. I would never have her heart racing. I would always be her best friend, who would stick up and do anything for her. I knew she knew that. That's why whenever she needed something; she'd always ask me first. It made me feel so special, though. Like she could count on me, trust me and have faith in me. I should feel stupid though, right? Having to do everything for her just to see her smile. That genuine smile that I love. That I crave. But I choose to do anything for her. I could say no and walk away. But I'd never do that. Never to Ali.

I sigh, grabbing my bag as I get up. "Where you going?" Spencer asked looking up with concerned eyes.

I quickly come up with a lame excuse, hoping to get away with it. "I just remembered I promised my mum to help her out with something. But I'll see you guys later. Bye." I say quickly, as I pass them all a quick genuine smile and walk out of the room. As I'm out of the house, I take a couple of deep breaths to steady myself. Why can't things just be easy? Why so complicated and traumatic? Why her? Why Ali? Why not some sweet boy? Or even a cute girl? Why these feelings? Why can I not ignore them? Why can't I just push them away? _She's going to be the death of me..._

**Review pleasseee? :) xxx**


	3. Shut Up, Mom

**Heey guys! Thankyou for the reviews, I'm soo glad you like it :) Remember I'm going to take this story really slow, to make it look more realistic. Oh and what do you think about Hanna and Spencer's moment last chapter?... :') Let me know if you'd like them to get together... :) Oh and please tell me how I'm going, on writing this story. Since I'm new, I want to know if I'm good at writing and stuff. Thankyou! Please review would mean so much! More the reviews the quicker I'll update ;) xxxx**

"Yes, Mom!" I yelled, clearly irritated. "I have everything, now can I go? I don't want the girls waiting for me." I said, lowering my voice as I saw the hurt I caused in my mom's eyes. I felt awful. But I couldn't help the anger and the frustration that have been built up since these past few months. I've realised that I've been lashing out all my anger and my emotions out to my mom. It wasn't fair on her, none of it was and I knew that. But I just couldn't help it. Like right now, my mom wouldn't shut up and stop worrying about me. I appreciate her concern, but if she didn't worry that much about me, then it would probably save her from all the lash outs I've been giving her.

"Yes honey, you can go," Mom says. I could see the pity and the hurt still evident in her brown orbs. I really did feel terrible. The sympathy in her voice just made it even more unbearable.

I sigh, as I sit down on my bed. "I'm sorry Mom, I didn't mean to yell." I say, looking back up to meet my mother's eyes.

"It's okay, honey." My mom said, as she sat down beside me. "But, I just wish you could tell me what's going on." She said desperately.

I really wish I could tell her. Be honest like I used to be. Before Alison. Before my feelings for Alison. Before when I started falling for her like rain. Rain that would never stop because I'd keep falling and falling till...till what? Till it's too unbearable? Too Agonizing? Too Excruciating? Too Painful? If it were to come to that conclusion, what will I do? How will I feel by that moment in time? Possibly 10 times worse than right now. Just thinking about it was becoming too heart aching.

I sigh, again, running my hand through my silky, dark hair. I have been doing that quite allot from all the thinking and the stress. I look up, gazing into my mom's brown, sympatric eyes. "It's nothing mom," I say. "I've just been in allot stress lately, I'll be fine."

I don't know if I was trying to convince my mom that, or myself. Although, I know that I'll be fine. I'm not always lashing out at my mom and feeling miserable. I'm different when I'm with my friends. Especially Ali. I don't get those unbearable heart aches when I'm around her. I buzz with glee. I smile goofily when I'm near her. But in most occasions when I get home, without Ali beside me is like, all the happiness and delight is washed away instantly and reality is set in. That's right, reality. Deep down, I know what the reality of this whole situation is. Of this condition. Alison will never feel the same way. Even though I've never asked her about it, I know it and I try to take no notice of it. It's better that way, or so I think it is.

"No honey, I don't think you will be fine." My mom says, her face contorted in worry and her voice lased with concern. She sighs, "You know maybe you need to have a rest and leave this sleepover for another time. I could call your friends and let them know you're not feeling well." My mom said, trying to convince me.

"No it's okay mom. I'll be fine. Please stop worrying." I plead, caressing her hand. "I really got to go, I'm probably already late." I chuckle slightly reassuring her that I'm fine. But then my heart suddenly starts racing as I realize I'm actually extremely late. _SHIT!_ _Shit, shit, shit. _I pick up my bag and sling it over my shoulder.

My mom smiles, but the concern is still evident on her face. "Ok sweetie, have fun."

I smile a genuine smile. "I will." I peck her on the cheek and quickly leave my room as I grab my phone from my bag. 3 Messages. 1 missed call from Spencer. A message from Aria, Hanna and... Alison. _Oh Fuck me._

**Em, Where are you ? x - Aria **

**Emily! We're waiting, where are you ? xx – Hanna**

**Where are you Emily? Time's ticking. Be quick before the alcohol runs out. Tick-tok ;) – Ali**

I instantly stop walking and read Ali's message over and over again. The wink draws me in mainly. Why a wink? _It's just a wink, Emily. Stop overanalysing shit and keep walking!_ Said a voice in the back of my head. Perhaps that voice was right. I overanalyse little things too much, especially things about Ali. Her every word draws me every time and I can't help but over think it too much. Always hoping to find a sign that she possibly perhaps feels the same way... _Emily! Get moving!_

_Oh shut up..._

"So I guess you decided to come after all." Said Alison, as she gave me her seductive smirk.

I suddenly became all shy and squirmy again. Why does this have to happen? I start fiddling with my fingers as I sit down beside Ali. I clear my throat as I looked up and smiled.

"Off course I would come. I wouldn't want to miss it." I said, looking her straight in the eye. There's the very familiar feeling again. Heart racing, hands slightly shaking and the impossibility of breaking eye contact. Those piercing, blue eyes are just too impossible to not get addicted to. To not stop gazing into them. Always sending me shivers down my spine and at times comfort and love. Perhaps not the kind of love that I cherish, but love that any other friend can provide.

Alison's smirk vanished and was replaced with a smile. A warm, addicting smile. I wonder if she knew the kind of effect she had on people by just smiling. Then I remembered, Alison hardly used that kind of smile apart from her family, my friends and I. It hurt me of why she couldn't show the whole world the real side to her. The one that's always covered up, covered up by someone she really isn't.

"I'm glad you made it Em."

When Alison calls me Em, it's different. It's significant. It makes my stomach do somersaults. Awakens butterflies in my stomach. It makes me feel special. Even though Aria, Hanna and Spence call me that too, the way Ali says it is so much more meaningful.

I beam but turn around as Spencer's voice startles me. "Well guess who's here!" Spencer yelled, turning her head as the other two girl's approached from the back. "We've been waiting for you Em." Spencer continues but her voice now laced in concern.

"Sorry Spence, just got held up by my mom." I say.

Spencer nodded and then shrugged, looking down at the two bottles of tequila and vodka.

"Well, I really want some of that!" Hanna butts in, grinning ear to ear as her dimples show visibly, even in the dim light. I chuckle.

We all giggle, waiting for Alison's approval as we all glance at her.

Alison's smirk intensified as she eyed us all. "Lets get this party started, Ladies." She giggled as we all grinned. I turned to look back at Ali, as she gave me a seductive wink. I started gapping stupidly so I turn back, swallowing heavily.

_Let's defiantly get this party started... _

**Ehe, like it? Don't like it? Let me know what you think! :) I'll possibly update tomorrow, but depends if you guys review! xxx **


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